"you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to, it is not your job"

"when your little girl asks you if she’s pretty your heart will drop like a wineglass on the hardwood floor part of you will want to say of course you are, don’t ever question it and the other part the part that is clawing at you will want to grab her by her shoulders look straight into the wells of her eyes until they echo back to you and say you do not have to be if you don’t want to it is not your job both will feel right one will feel better she will only understand the first when she wants to cut her hair off or wear her brother’s clothes you will feel the words in your mouth like marbles you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to it is not your job" — 
it is not your job | Caitlyn Siehl 

I came across this poem the other day and it made me think about things in a different way. I never thought that being pretty was my job or that I had to be, but really thinking back through the years I always thought it kind of was. I had to be pretty to get a boyfriend, I had to be pretty to fit in with the popular crowd, I had to be pretty to like what I saw in the mirror. 

But that is not true. You don't owe it to anyone in this whole wide world to be pretty. That doesn't mean its wrong to want to be pretty or to be pretty, that is great. But it is not our job in life. It does not have to be our main goal if we don't want it to be. 

I have heard people apologize for going out and about without makeup. It left me thinking, what is there to apologize for? Your natural face, the one you were born with? I feel sad that we think we have to apologize or feel bad that we haven't made ourselves look "pretty" yet. We don't owe it to the world or to anybody to be pretty.

I like this quote by J.K. Rowling,  “Is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me.”

This is referring more to the area of being fat but I thought it coincided with the thoughts of the poem. I know some of my friends and I can think that being referred to as ugly or fat is the worst thing to be called. But like Rowling stated, aren't there worse things than that? Can't it be worse to be mean, cruel, or a bully? Aren't there worse things to be than ugly or fat? I know it is hard to think of that in this day and age with the bombardment of the media and advertisements. I know I have been affected, I have definitely thought that If I was only a little skinnier or a little prettier, things would be better. But then I thought, do I want my happiness to be dependent on those things. Do I want to find my fulfillment in the things that like me or want me after I am skinny or pretty?

No I don't. I want to put my hope and happiness and fulfillment into something that does not judge if I am pretty or skinnier than the next person. No I want to put my trust in something I cannot lose and that does not change. That is why I put my trust into Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Like the above picture and Colossians 3:12 state, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,humility, meekness, and patience" It is showing here what truly matters and what we should be striving for. God looks into our hearts and what is being produced in there instead of what our outsides look like. Like 1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

So, all in all you do no have to be pretty if you don't want to, it is not your job. I know this may seem small and already assumed by most but I know, for me, when I read that poem it opened up my eyes to some things. I realized I don't have to be pretty. I don't have to be pretty for my husband. I don't have to be pretty for my co-workers. I don't have to be pretty for my friends. It is not my job. I can be pretty if I want. I can get dressed up for my husband. I can get dolled up for my friends. That is okay. It is when I make that the utmost important and defining thing in my life is when we start to have a problem. I hope that I and others can start to work on our inner selves and find that more important and beautiful. For what comes out of our mouths and or actions is what is in our hearts and that is what truly makes a difference in this world.